Your values are a set of beliefs about what is important to you. They define a way of life and bring a sense of purpose to the way that we behave. There are multiple ways to get from point A to point B, and a path that aligns with our values is ultimately the most fulfilling path through which to traverse life.
In a world with an infinite number of directions you can go and uncertain outcomes, having a clear sense of your core values, the values that are most important to you, can give you a sense of stability.
I went through an exercise recently to clarify and define my own core values. They are
- Integrity: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others; to be my authentic self
- Courage: to be courageous or brave; to pursue or persist in the face of fear, discomfort, threat, or difficulty; to focus on engaging without worrying about the outcome; just do it
- Vulnerability: to open up, reveal, and share myself in my close personal relationships; to be open to risk and uncertainty; being comfortable in my own skin
- Self-development: to keep growing, advancing, or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience
- Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, sharing, giving, generous, contributive, and caring towards myself and others; to fully accept myself and others as I/they are; treating others as equals
- Balance: to look after my physical and mental health and wellbeing for the long-term, without being overly drawn towards instant gratification; work balances with rest of life
Now when I am making decisions on a day to day basis, I can review my core values and get a sense for how decisions I am thinking about align with (or do not align with) my core values. I find especially when I am making difficult decisions my core values provide a useful litmus test.
I recommend that everyone go through the exercise of defining your core values. Here’s a way to do so:
Step 1: Grab a list of 100+ values online, like this one
Step 2: Determine which values resonate with you and cross off any values that don’t resonate with you
Step 3: Repeat step 2 and cross off any remaining values that don’t strongly resonate with you.
Step 4: Group together the remaining core values into groupings that make sense to you, and pick a single core value that encompasses that grouping. Create no more than 6 groupings, each with its own core value
Step 5: Write down the 6 core values you ended up with, and put them in order of importance
Your values may change over time. Redo this exercise once a year to continue to refine and clarify your most important values.
Values define how you do the things you do. They dictate how you make decisions.
Living by your values gives you a sense of integrity. Take the time to clarify your values for yourself.