When you communicate feedback to someone else — whether to a co-worker, friend, or stranger – you don’t have control over how they will respond. You have influence, but not control.
That influence can be used for good or for bad. What is good?
Communicating in a way that tries to help the other person feel positive is not always a “good” thing. That type of communication can make your feedback less clear as you avoid or caveat your way through the conversation, or pull your punches.
Furthermore, wanting others to feel positive is sometimes tied to your own fear of feeling bad about making someone else feel bad. So check your motivations.
When you give feedback, your goal is not for the other person to feel good. It is providing them with the gift of learning and improvement through clear, well-constructed feedback tied to a circumstance. It is about helping them be successful.
You have influence when you share feedback. Use that influence to guide others towards success.
